Curvy Quinn grabs the wrong pills, and using ED drugs for performance

I have always been curious about the effectiveness of erectile dysfunction (ED) drugs for sexual performance. We have seen the commercials, most likely during an NFL game. The NFL knows its audience: a bunch of dudes who spend one of their two days off retired to the living room while the wife is out and about doing who knows what.

So between changes of possession during the game (or the millions of other times the NFL runs commercials), Jimmy Johnson tells the viewer how the male sexual enhancer ExtenZe will improve one’s experience. Then a cheerleader a third his age kisses him on the cheek. I can only assume Johnson gets a boner from this.

So the viewer and ardent NFL fan heads to the local Walmart at the start of the afternoon slate of games looking for ExtenZe. The Rams are playing, so he knows he isn’t missing much. He pops a pill, scares his wife with how abnormally frisky he is, and has sex adequate enough that she stops getting coffee at the nearby cafe to chat with that young cashier.

The market for men wanting a bigger, stronger penis is real. There are plenty of sites selling techniques, exercises, creams, pills, pumps, extenders, and supplements all in the pursuit of a presumed better penis. I have tried a lot of things, initially out of insecurity but then ultimately out of curiosity. I had never tried an ED drug.

That was until a month ago. I wanted to know if the hype was real and felt the risk in trying wasn’t big. I went online to what I can only assume was an underground pharmacy and spent about $30 on a pack of Cialis soft tabs.

As I socialize more, I realize I get more opportunities for sexual encounters. Funny how that works. Guess pussy really doesn’t appear out of thin air in the bedroom. I knew I would get some chances to put the pills to the test, so I walked into every weekend with a 20mg tablet ready to go.

My opening for experimentation arrived on a Friday after attending a comedy show. My friend, bored and deprived of sex for a few weeks, wanted to go to Trapeze. Trapeze is a private members club in Atlanta for those who enjoy an uninhibited lifestyle. In other words, it’s a club for swinging, sex and a bit of voyeurism.

I had half a tablet and waited for it to kick in most of the night. Nothing happened. I was getting a bit frustrated and disappointed.

After realizing we weren’t going to be approached by anyone to share partners, we decided to just have sex with each other. She stroked the head of my penis just slightly, and within seconds I was rock hard. I think those 10mg had more than kicked in. Like the delayed effects of eating an edible brownie.

I was strong enough to have sex with her in the club, at home later that night, and the next morning when we woke up. It was a bit shocking (and scary, actually) how quickly I would get an erection and how long I could maintain it. The power of that tablet got me to research more natural remedies for improved sexual performance. I don’t think Cialis, or any other drug, is something men should create a reliance on. But that experience probably doesn’t go as well without it.

As much as I would joke about Viagra commercials and a 40-something woman on a beach resort encouraging her husband to do what he has to do, there is a real force to ED drugs. But I wonder: once a man experiences that energy, is it possible to ever go back? Can a dependency be created for no other reason than wanting to always give a great performance, in bed or on camera?

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Curvy Quinn gives Jimmy Dix the wrong pills

If you had both Viagra and aspirin in your cabinet, would you confuse the two? That’s at the crux of Curvy Quinn and Jimmy Dix’s sexcapade on Plumper Pass. Seems Quinn doesn’t know the difference between a dick pill and migraine medication, and a lot of boning predictably ensues.

Jimmy Dix (a beautiful name, by the way) has a bad headache and could use his medication. His girlfriend, Curvy Quinn, unfortunately grabs the wrong bottle of pills, and now Dix has a boner he can’t diffuse. It’s probably best to analyze this by asking five questions:

1. When did sex pills and aspirin come in the same package? A smart person would wonder how Quinn could confuse pills for sex with pills for a headache. A smarter person would wonder how Quinn could be put in a position to confuse the two in the first place. Quinn saw two brown-tint pharmacy bottles, most likely saying “Tramadol” and “Sildenafil Citrate”, and said “I don’t know what the fuck these things are, but I’m making a choice.”

2. Why didn’t Dix get the medicine? If Dix had a migraine, then he more than likely didn’t have the strength to get up and grab the medicine himself. Besides, Quinn was cool with being a good girlfriend and helping him out. The correct question is …

3. Why didn’t Quinn ask for clarification? We were all taught there are no dumb questions, rather it’s dumb to not ask a question at all. I’m not sure the former is entirely true, but if we don’t know something, we need to ask. If Quinn was confused by which bottle contained Dix’s migraine medication, she should’ve presented both bottles to him so he can select the right one. Dix got to bust a nut from banging Quinn, but he still felt like his brain was banging against his skull.

curvy quinn and jimmy dix
Image of Curvy Quinn and Jimmy Dix from Plumper Pass

4. Why is Dix embarrassed about the boner? Dix was embarrassed to tell Quinn that she gave him the wrong pills. There are two ways to interpret this: either Dix was embarrassed about having a boner or embarrassed to admit he uses penis pills.

If he’s embarrassed about having a boner, he should remember he’s with his girlfriend. He’s not at a PTA meeting or a kid’s birthday party. A girlfriend isn’t going to complain about her attractiveness prompting an erection, at least not a good girlfriend. Considering Quinn is clearly an awesome girlfriend and was cool with helping Dix get his erection down, that’s not something to be shy about.

Embarrassment over using penis pills is a worthwhile discussion. Porn fuels the idea that men should (and need) to be able to keep strong erections up for minutes on end. But that’s not actually the norm.

There’s the man who buys Viagra because he struggles to get and maintain an erection. And then there’s the man who wants to have sex like a porn star. The former says we want to be able to have and enjoy sex. The latter says we don’t think our current sexual capabilities are good enough.

The admissions are not the same, but making the admission either way is difficult. It harps on the issue with constructs of hyper-masculinity, the idea that “real men” don’t do certain things, like use penis pills. But physiological and psychological issues that affect sexual health are normal, and a lot of men deal with it. Using a pill is not ideal, and insecurity over it is understandable. But no man should think he is the only one who has thought about it.

5. Did Dix ever get that migraine fixed? He didn’t show any signs of discomfort, nausea, or lightheadedness during sex, which is impressive. But no, he took the migraine medication later, and mixed with the penis pill resulted in a 12-hour erection. Quinn fucked up.

The need to improve sexual performance with ED drugs

I read a story about former male porn star Danny Wylde’s reasons for quitting the industry and the toll it had on his penis health. He revealed that he had been to the emergency room three times due to the use of drugs intended for ED, and was told that continued use of the pills would have long-term ramifications.

The discussion of a male porn star feeling he needs a pill to perform is fascinating on so many levels. Let’s try to bullet point all of the larger ideas this creates, and maybe we can elaborate more down the road.

•  Is this an isolated incident with one person, or is the use of pills to perform common in the industry? I don’t know the answer and don’t want to make any damaging and irresponsible suggestions. But I’d think guys want to be great at their professions. If there is something they can do to be better without breaking the law or risking employment, they would at least consider it.

•  It further drives the point that sex in porn isn’t a genuine depiction of sex in normal life. Porn shouldn’t be looked at as an honest expectation for how men are in bed. Which should go without saying, but that undermines the fact that not every man who watches porn understands that. With articles detailing how porn has become a version of sex ed, it can’t be overlooked that some people really think what’s seen in porn is how sex goes.

•  As a viewer, do you really care? I mean, we might feel bad for Wylde and have mixed feelings about pill use in porn and how it affects health. But as consumers just wanting to be entertained, does it really matter to us?

This is the question I always pose with sports and PEDs: why should concepts of competitive balance, fairness, and following the rules matter in our ability to be entertained? We’re not actually affected in any tangible way by athletes who choose to give themselves an edge. If I were a fellow athlete following the rules, I’d be pissed. But as a consumer? Just give me a good show.

Some will argue that sports parallel life in some variation of a parasocial relationship or connection. We compete to make a living in the workforce everyday, and are asked to do so by following the rules. We want to know that athletes, who make exceedingly more money, are asked to do the same. We wouldn’t want a co-worker having more success due to cheating, so we hate it when the same happens in sports.

But as someone spending money to see a UFC fight, my main concern is getting value for my investment, not the comfort of knowing the fighters are doing things based on my ideals of what’s right. So do we really care if men are depending on pills to perform our favorite scenes? I’m guessing we don’t. As long as we get to see Chloe Amour bounce on some guy’s dick for 20-30 minutes, all is forgiven.

viagra
Image of a box of Viagra from Reuters.

•  What are we asking of porn stars? We don’t need them to provide us with the equivalent of amateur, homemade porn. We want them to let us escape in a hyper-reality and fantasy, and to have our imaginations captured.

I don’t drive to Hudson Grille and watch the Falcons just to feel like I’m watching a group of friends throw the football around at the nearby park. I want to see something levels above the norm. The consumer in me doesn’t care what they’re ingesting to help make that possible, even whilst the human in me realizes the health concern that comes with that.

Porn stars are already considered the best sexual beings recruiting efforts could uncover. But at some point, the best stopped being enough. There was once a time when an elbow drop was enough to get people out of their chairs. Now Shane McMahon has to attempt a fucking Shooting Star Press at WrestleMania just to impress us. Since good isn’t good enough, I can understand someone taking a pill to stay above the grain.

That’s a lot to digest. But what intrigues me the most is the idea of not wanting to let a partner down or being anything less than a “porn star” in bed. Why does a guy feel like he has to have sex like a porn star, and what does that say about the level at which a male porn star must perform to be placed on such a pedestal?

Using an ED drug has just as much to do with what we can do in bed than our physical ability to do anything at all. I used a pill out of sheer curiosity of what it would do. But I don’t want to use it so much that I’m convinced it is necessary for me to perform. Or for that matter, get wrapped up in the concept of “performance” or not simply enjoying the experience. How one goes through the porn industry without using them is beyond me, or how one recovers after that dependence is even tougher to consider.

Wylde brings up how his dependence transitioned from wanting to perform at his best on camera, to wanting to live up to those performances in the bedroom. It’s like he couldn’t just be regular guy in an otherwise regular sexual encounter. We want to perform like the best, and now a drug intended for men with an actual health problem has become the gateway to fucking like a champ. And I don’t know how we go back to accepting anything less.

Dontari Poe shouldn’t be able to run a 40-yard dash in 4.98 seconds while being 346 pounds. And a porn star shouldn’t be able to thrust for what feels like an eternity while unprotected. And yet, we’re seeing it’s possible and demanding it. How the hell are we supposed to keep up?

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