10 of the Top and Hottest MILF Porn Stars … Chosen at Random

In my last post I talked about no longer understanding what makes a porn star a MILF. I came to the realization while trying to make this list. How could I make a list of the hottest and top MILF porn stars if I didn’t know what being a MILF in porn meant?

There aren’t hard requirements on how MILF is defined in porn. There are parameters that need to be met though. Figured the key to making a list is to determine my own parameters.

Let’s lay down the two ground rules. If I don’t you’ll be more enraged with the list than usual. Which doesn’t make sense considering it’s just a list where everything’s made up and the points don’t matter. But, you know, the internet.

1. Current: This isn’t a lifetime achievement award. It’s not an award at all, it’s just a list. Point is, I’m not trying to make an all-time list of top MILF porn stars. So don’t complain about Lisa Ann, Francesca Le, or Kiara Mia not being on it.

I’m only choosing MILF porn stars who have done something notable in the past year. And by “notable” I mean I browsed through the past year of MILF scenes on Brazzers and Naughty America. I don’t watch much porn, sue me.

2. Age: There isn’t an age requirement on being a MILF. But I prefer my MILFs actually be older than the uncategorized norm in the porn industry, at least 35 years of age. So apologies to Olivia Austin, Richelle Ryan, and Romi Rain. Not that they care.

As always, these aren’t rankings. To emphasize this, I listed the selections in alphabetical order. Here are ten of the hottest MILF porn stars today with my nonsensical and random commentary. Speaking of random, did I mention I let an online list randomizer make the selections?

1. Alena Croft: She calls herself the “Queen of Cum” on her Twitter. No fucking idea what that means. Either she’s very talented at making dudes jizz or she has a private sperm bank in her home. Phoenix Marie once robbed a sperm bank in a Brazzers scene. They should start a business.

2. Ava Addams: She was born to French parents with additional Spanish and Italian ancestry. She speaks both English and French and understands Spanish. If someone ever wanted to do scenes in different languages, there would be no need for voice-over work. Just re-shoot it.

3. Brandi Love: I had no clue she was the co-owner and CFO of two multimedia companies. She also founded an education and legal support group for parents in the adult industry. This is all fascinating.

4. Cherie Deville: According to her Instagram page, she is a gamer nerd and Xbox addict. I wonder what her favorite game is. I bought an Xbox 360 a couple of months back to give me something to do during the three or four hours I have nowhere to be. Catherine is such a dope game. I’d be interested to get her thoughts on it.

5. Diamond Jackson: Even the randomizer knew at least one porn star of ethnicity had to be chosen. I’m a firm believer in diversity. I once wrote a paper on diversity in the workplace and see the importance in making it a focus. That’s what makes porn so dope: there is something for everyone.

6. Diamond Foxxx: She was the first MILF porn star I ever watched. Or it might have been Daphne Rosen. Did you know Foxxx was discharged from the Navy for having sex? She’s also from Albany, GA. Which shouldn’t matter to me since I’m from Atlanta and we tend to act independent from the rest of the state.

alena croft ava addams
Alena Croft (left) and Ava Addams (right), image sources unknown.

7. Julia Ann: The legend. I’m glad she made the list. It’s awesome, and coincidental, that two of the all-time biggest names in MILF porn share the same last names as performers.

8. Kelly Madison: She has 34FFs or something like that. So I didn’t nab her from Brazzers or Naughty America. I was looking at similar lists and kept seeing her name. She’s a great selection and fits the category to perfection.

9. Kendra Lust: If I actually did make the selections myself, or even treated this like real rankings, Lust would be the clear-cut top choice for me. I don’t even want to get into why that is. She’s just perfect. I think I have a crush. But not a parasocial relationship. That would require I actually watch her work.

10. Savana Styles: I know nothing about this person. I saw one picture of her, noted she had a nice backside, and kept it moving. Apparently she is married to Lexington Steele. I find work relationships intriguing and difficult. Wish them nothing but the best.

So here’s why I let a list randomizer handle this …

• Picking ten on my own was hard. And don’t tell me I should have just expanded the list. That defeats the purpose of this exercise. And even when you do that, someone still gets left off. I chose to put the responsibility in something else’s algorithm.

• There is little difference between the porn stars. I figured this out when trying to take a scientific approach to make the list. All of them have big boobs. 90% of them have big or bubble butts. About 50% of them are just curvy overall. When you don’t actually watch their scenes, it’s hard to make a separation between them.

brandi love diamond jackson
Brandi Love (left) and Diamond Jackson (right), image sources unknown.

• You get the same result no matter what. It didn’t matter what ten porn stars were chosen. The result was the same each time: about four no-brainers, three good sleeper choices, three questionable ones, and about five omissions worth complaining about.

And just so you know, other possible choices included Alura Jenson, Ariella Ferrera, Ryan Conner, Mercedes Carrera, and Phoenix Marie. I could make a five-to-five swap right now and it wouldn’t matter. There are so many porn stars out there and they all feel so similar. I don’t know how a choice gets made.

• You wouldn’t know otherwise. Using a list randomizer made this SO much easier. And real talk, had I not mentioned I did this, you wouldn’t have even noticed. We generally know who the top porn stars are. It’s impossible to completely screw this up. There were no wrong answers. Better answers, maybe. But not wrong ones.

There are too many options. Christ, the list was narrowed down from 59. And that’s even after I set parameters. It’d be a better story if the list was narrowed down from 69, wouldn’t it?

I’m just saying they’re all hot. In choosing the top and hottest MILF porn stars, I just came to understand that they are all hot and it didn’t really matter who was chosen. Like I said, it’s all made up and the points don’t matter. And maybe that’s the point, ironically. We could keep doing these if we wanted and still never cover enough ground.

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