In this scene from Twistys’ Moms Know Best, Cherie Deville has a big day planned for her stepdaughter, Darcie Dolce, who is returning from college. But after watching Darcie masturbate, plans change. Now Cherie is interested in eating something other than breakfast. Yup.
Follow along on PornHub. As always, that link and this post are NSFW. So if you are not in a private area or don’t like viewing depictions of nudity and sex, I would suggest you leave … NOW!
One, she’s not little. I’ve seen her. Not in person, mind you. I’ve just skipped ahead and know what the future holds for Cherie.
Two, Cherie says “new little stepdaughter” as if she has been plowing through stepdaughters lately. Or like Darcie’s a shiny new toy. It’s like when someone says “my new boyfriend,” but they’re really saying “my LATEST boyfriend.”
Three, they all come back in town from college eventually. At worst, Cherie has been waiting like four months for this day. Calm down.
I think Cherie is going to make a really good impression on all of us. Pending I know porn as well as I think I do.
That sound? What, you mean the sound of you moving around on a leather couch? One you probably shouldn’t be sitting on while drinking coffee? No, but seriously, I didn’t hear shit.
That’s some loud-ass masturbating Darcie is doing. Unless she attends the same university where “Haze Her” is filmed, I doubt her college roommates appreciate it.
Dude, you heard her through the door. What else did you think was happening? CALM DOWN!
It’s a Twistys scene of Darcie masturbating to a Twistys scene. That’s like the WWE advertising the WWE Network as you’re watching the WWE Network.
Cherie really is excited about her new stepdaughter being in town. She can barely keep her skirt down.
I bet you don’t.
I see what you did there, Twistys.
Bitch, she told you breakfast was in the works when discussing the big, exciting day that she planned. Millennials, amirite?
I bet you do. Especially that pussy-eating contest at 1:00.
Ah, the old slip the spoon off the table trick. Works none of the time, every time.
Or we can do the pussy-eating contest now.
That escalated fast. And good on Cherie for assuming Darcie would be down for this. I would’ve loved it if Darcie immediately packed her bags and stormed out in disgust.
And Cherie takes the early lead. Darcie has some catching up to do on the unofficial scoreboard. From my vantage point, Cherie is up by at least a field goal.
I’m not sure of what’s happening here. I don’t think that’s doing what it appears to be doing. But I also don’t watch a lot of porn or understand the human body, so the fuck do I know, right?
I bet those pancakes are cold by now. I mean, I understand that scissoring takes priority at the moment. But a re-heated breakfast isn’t nearly as good. Eat breakfast first, pussy later. Life lessons.
What has porn taught us: Treat every day someone returns from college like it’s the last, and fuck them. Even though they reside in a place where sex is easily accessible, they might be down for sex with you. Reel them in by dropping your spoon during a breakfast you don’t plan on eating.